I often think about how things could have been. How the treatment I endure would differ. How people’s perception of me would differ. I ponder the countless advantages.
As a young child, I would have never guessed that one’s gender could affect one’s quality of life. The notion of respect is a lie. A lie that most everyone is aware of, something so normalized that people helplessly allow it, despite the sudden mood change it sparks.
This habitual discrimination against my gender occurs in many forms, within many categories. The reasoning behind all of this is unclear. Perhaps it’s because we are seen as submissive, stay-at-home creatures. Individuals with the sole purpose of serving others. For some, this struggle occurs everyday. For me, I come across this struggle mainly in metal music. It’s a genre dominated by males in a world dominated by males, so you can expect some trouble as a woman. I, along with many others, think some people in the community should change their ways.
People often like sticking to wildly outdated values, but I am certain now that those who continue to undermine women are afraid of change. An alteration in how you perceive relationships is understandably difficult. When you hold values passed down by generations, those ideas can feel permanently engraved in one’s mind, so the switch to a new mindset can seem impossible. I feel sympathy towards people who work so hard for a new mindset. I don’t feel sympathy towards assholes whose current mindset ignores the necessity of basic respect.
Staying with the same perceptions for your entire life is immature. Ignorant individuals must realize their toxic perceptions and realize how douchey they can be. This is what I wish I could say to those conservative, misogynistic men. This is what I wish I could explain in a nature that will actually provoke a commitment to retreat from those dated and stupid ideals. Unfortunately, the effort to regard another gender feels too tiresome for them. I’ve tried to live with it and not waste my time attempting to make them understand. But I still feel a yearning for change. I feel like this issue has left a dent in my brain which won’t heal unless a change comes into play. To some people, this might sound like an exaggeration, but I encourage those people to take a look at themselves. Are you an average straight white man? Are you a woman who has dealt with so much disrespect that you’ve completely adjusted and unconsciously accepted this lame way of life? If you relate to one of these and find this too dramatic, you’ve been blinded.
I aim to never allow this blinding ignorance to subvert my own values. Yes, these discriminatory acts do hinder my confidence at times. I have somewhat learned to “live with it,” but this issue never leaves my mind. I am constantly annoyed.
Sometimes people think they are helping women, but they just make things worse. It irritates me when people think they’re helping me and really they’re just as bad as the misogynists. Mainly, these efforts are prejudice in disguise. For instance, men assuming that I fear moshing at a concert and try to make the experience less “aggressive.” Of course, trying to create a safer environment is consideration for one’s feelings, but why the fuck would I enter a mosh pit if I didn’t want the classic, energized experience of one? Those who do such “kind acts'' assume that people like me are afraid of that environment. I am convinced that they assume women are intimidated by men and masculinity. I see it as a form of bias. Some groups need a level of special accommodations due to discrimination, but I don’t need that. I just want equal treatment.
People shouldn’t think of my gender as a weak and vulnerable one. All I ask for is equal respect. Fuck guy’s night. Fuck girl’s night. Fuck the separation of genders. I’m tired of division. I’m tired of stereotypical things - Skateboarding and football: boys. Ballet and cooking: girls. It’s all bullshit.
Differentiation should not happen between genders. Rather, people should embrace the fact that naturally, everyone is different. I can’t force my beliefs upon someone just like how someone else can’t force their beliefs onto me. All we can do is discuss and try to understand. Seeing the world through different perspectives is healthy, but holding onto one perspective that screws up the quality of someone else’s life is selfish. As much as I’d like to live in a world where everyone respects each other, I know it’s impossible. Too much variety exists in the world. I hope that anyone who reads this can understand what I’m trying to convey. To sum up this rant, I will say that all I aim for is a basic sense of equality. All people no matter their religion, ethnicity, gender or sex/gender should be able to indulge in a mosh pit.
LT