The scarecrow stood facing the western horizon. His fixed, smiling face admiring the setting sun. Though he appeared without a care or a thought within his mind, the interior of his head held more than just straw and cotton. He secretly celebrated what felt to him like a great feat. The old scarecrow got through yet another day that spared him the unfortunate fate of receiving excreted bird waste on top of his head. Though this seems like an unusual victory, it was the sole thought that pervaded his mind and the sole religion that dictated his life. He held a firm belief that if a crow relieved itself on his head, the cornfield he protected would degrade and rot, leading his owner to reject him for his failure. The lack of evidence to support his belief did not inhibit his dedication.
The next morning, he awoke feeling an odd, unprecedented sensation. As if something other than his straw sunhat sat atop his head. As a stagnant, stiff object, he could not look up to see what it was. The old scarecrow relied on the mere sensation to identify the culprit. A screech and piercing through the fabric of his hat informed him of the fearless feathered creature on top of him. Panics arose immediately within his straw stuffed body. A sudden backward throttle of his body and the sight of the bird flying towards the sky relaxed some of his tension. Still, an undertone of fear seemed to coat his cotton innards.
A feeling no short of impending doom erupted within the old scarecrow when 10 crows flew above him in formation. White slop from each bird landed all over him. Even the stick which he relied on to remain standing dripped in the waste. A painfully loud crow call traveled throughout the vast farmland surrounding the property he stood on. The barn door opened with an angry and irritated push. His farmer cursed at the sky, pointing at the feathered monsters. The closer he approached the old scarecrow, the more his face tightened in disgust. He kicked the wooden stake and freed the scarecrow from the ground. Now the old scarecrow viewed the world from upside down, too disoriented to notice the dumpster that walked menacingly toward them.